Royal Mistake #6 Read online

  I pretend not to hear them. I know I should stop and greet them, perhaps gauge how much damage control I still need to do, but I can’t seem to find the strength to do so. I march on, blind and deaf to everything.

  When I reach the river, I turn and follow one of the paths along the bank. There are restaurants and shops overlooking the river on both sides, but in between the buildings and the rushing water are public paths and narrow gardens. There are a handful of people wandering through the late-blooming flowers, but I keep my head down and pay them no mind.

  What am I supposed to do? I’m willing to give up everything for her, and still I see fear in her eyes. What is she so afraid of? How do I get past the walls she keeps putting between us?

  There’s a little stone bench on the edge of the garden, overlooking a place where the river curves. The water is rough here, swirling and dancing around the rocks that stick up through the current. I sit on the bench and look down at the rushing water. The fear that has been tickling at the back of my mind suddenly cannot be contained any longer.

  It’s possible I’ve lost everything.

  The love and respect of my people. Of my family. Of the one woman in this world for whom I’d do anything. My father might be on his deathbed right now, and I put him there. If I become king tomorrow or the next day or the day after that, I will never forgive myself. The people of Montovia will never forgive me, either. And I will be alone, bearing this burden by myself. I dared to take some control over my life, dared to reach for something I wanted just for me—and everything fell apart.

  I rub my forehead. You knew this would happen. You knew that if you turned your back on your responsibilities and duties, you’d only bring pain to yourself and your country. And yet I let myself believe, for one fleeting moment, that I’d found a way out of the dark tunnel. That I could be the ruler Montovia deserved and marry the woman I loved. Imagine—I even thought for a brief second that Victoria would see my public declaration of love as some sort of grand gesture, that she would even run up to me in front of all those reporters and throw herself into my arms and tell me that she returned my feelings. We’d stand up in front of the entire world and show them what we could do together.

  I’m a bloody fool.

  There’s a footstep behind me.

  “I’ll hold another press conference to address the public’s concerns about my behavior,” I say absently, waving whoever it is away. “I assure you, I will give everyone the answers they deserve. For the moment, though, I request some privacy.”

  The person doesn’t leave. Instead, they step forward, coming around the bench and standing right next to me. When I look up, I see Victoria staring down at me.

  “Victoria,” I say, standing.

  She looks up at me for a long moment, saying nothing.

  I long to pull her into my arms, but I don’t. I ache to tell her once again how I feel about her, but I restrain myself. I simply wait, though such a simple act takes all the strength in the world.

  “You shouldn’t have said those things at the press conference,” she says finally. “Not like that. Not in front of the world.”

  “I don’t care if the world knows, Victoria. I want them to see the truth. I want to stop hiding who I am and what I want.”

  She blinks and looks out across the river. “I… I’m not ready to be in front of the world. I don’t know how to deal with that sort of attention. Even just now, I was stopped by four different people on the street who wanted to ask about what you said. And meanwhile I’m still trying to figure out how I feel and what I want.”

  I hesitate. “How do you feel, Victoria? Truly?”

  Her gaze turns back to me, and her eyes glisten with moisture. “I…I love you. You know I love you. But that’s not enough. What we have is…is amazing, but we have to think about everything else. Sometimes you can love someone and the relationship can still be wrong.”

  I frown. “Is that what you truly believe? That this is wrong?”

  “Maybe. I don’t know.” She presses the heels of her hands against her eyes. “That’s just it—I don’t know. Part of me says I should get myself out of here as fast as possible, but the other part of me can’t bear the thought of being away from you. I just…” She drops her hands. “I don’t know what to do, and now I have to figure it out in front of the entire fucking world. No matter what I decide, eyes will be on me. People will judge me. Invade my privacy. Tear me apart when I already feel like I’m coming undone from the inside out.”

  Once again, I’m overwhelmed by the longing to pull her into my arms, but I close my hands into fists. “I’ll protect you in every way I can.”

  “You can’t protect me from the world,” she says. “You can’t protect me from the fact that I can’t bear children.”

  “Maybe not,” I say. “But I can and will continue to love you no matter what you decide. I’ll love you even if you reject me in front of the world. I’ll love you if you run from me again. I’ll love you no matter what you say or do to push me away. I’ll even love you if you tell me you’d prefer to be with William instead. It doesn’t matter—my love will not falter, not in this lifetime. Loving you has changed me forever. You’ve shown me a side of myself that I’d forgotten existed. You’ve taught me to see beauty and hope in a world where I saw only duty and responsibility. You’ve given me something more priceless than anything else in my life, and it doesn’t matter what choices you make now—I will always love you for the gift you’ve given me, and I know without a doubt that I will never feel this way about anyone else ever again.”

  She shakes her head and looks away from me, and a tear escapes her lashes and slides down her cheek.

  “Don’t say things like that,” she says. “It’s not fair.”

  “It’s the truth,” I tell her. “I’ve spent most of my life shying away from the deepest truths about myself. I have no intention of hiding those truths again, no matter what the consequences.” I step closer to her but still don’t touch her—even though I long for nothing more than to reach out and brush that tear off her cheek. “What’s your truth, Victoria? Don’t think about what you should or shouldn’t do or feel. Just tell me the truth. What does your heart say? What does your soul say?”

  Her mouth falls open slightly, but no words come out.

  “I’ll tell you what my soul is saying right now,” I tell her softly. “It’s telling me not to give up. And to do what I should have done long ago.”

  I reach out, finding her hand and curling my fingers around it. Then I drop slowly to one knee.

  Victoria’s eyes go wide. “Andrew, what—”

  “It doesn’t matter what you say,” I tell her. “I will love you anyway. But I should have done this properly from the start. I love you completely. With every fiber of my being. And I will continue to do so until the day I die. I want to spend the rest of my life with you, Victoria. I want to fall asleep in your arms every night and spend every day trying to be the man you deserve. I want to have wild adventures together. I want to curl up with you on rainy days and watch the stars with you on clear nights and spend our free afternoons trying to finally beat you at fencing. I want to build a complete life with you.” My fingers tighten on hers. “If you’ll let me, of course.”

  She looks completely stunned, but before she can respond, I have to say the most important part.

  “Victoria Simpson,” I say, “will you marry me?”

  Victoria

  This can’t be happening. Maybe I’m still knocked out, lying by the side of the lake after our plane crash and this has all been some glorious dream.

  Whatever it is, one thing is obvious. Prince Andrew cannot be asking me to marry him.

  In some ways, it seems like it might have only been yesterday when Elle and I were lying on the beach in California and I was dreaming of merely dancing with the man kneeling before me.

  What he’s doing—what he’s offering—is more than I ever dared to dream. More than I ever hoped.
But I can’t let him do this. I can’t let him throw away everything he’s always believed in for me.

  I look down at him, my mouth falling open to tell him how ridiculous this is. How there’s no way we can make this work, even if what William said is true. Even if love can conquer nearly everything, what we’re facing is so much bigger than almost anything. This isn’t just about Andrew and me. This is about Montovia. This is about the country he loves so much.

  He must read it in my eyes—I can almost feel the crushing weight in my chest that I see in his expression as he pulls his hand away from mine. He nearly collapses and hunches over, burying his head in his hands.

  I drop to my knees, pulling him into an embrace. But he doesn’t touch me other than to press his forehead against my chest, his hands still hiding his face.

  Dipping my head, I whisper in his ear. “Andrew, I love you more than I can even say. More than I have words for.” Tears fill my eyes again and my voice chokes in my throat. “I want all those things for us, too. I want to fall asleep in your arms every night. I want to have every possible adventure with you. I want to stand by your side and face the world with you.”

  He lifts his head and meets my gaze with eyes that are shining, though it’s difficult to tell if what shines in them is tears or hope.

  I force a weak smile. “I love that you’re willing to give up everything for me. I love that you made a fool of yourself in front of the world for me. But that’s just it, Andrew. You’re not a fool. And you can’t give everything up. Not for me.”

  He slowly shakes his head. “How many times do I have to say it, Victoria? I want to give it all up for you. I’m fully capable of making my own decisions on the matter. And I’m completely aware of the consequences. I don’t…I don’t know what else I can do to prove it to you. I’ve done every last thing I can think of.” His voice quivers with emotion. “I love you. I want to spend my life with you. And I’m willing to give up everything for that. Everything.”

  My heart hammers in my chest at his words. I want to believe him. If there was any way possible to have it all—to have our cake and eat it, too—I’d be all in. But there isn’t. And I’m not sure why he’s choosing denial over accepting the truth.

  “Andrew…” I try to choose my words carefully, not wanting to cause him any further pain. “From the moment we met, your only concern has been Montovia. The only—”

  “That is not true. I became quite fond of you within hours of our meeting, Victoria. If you’ll recall, I pulled you from a lake—”

  “But that wasn’t our first meeting.” I smile. “If you’ll recall, our first meeting was when you danced with me at the state dinner.”

  He sits back on his heels, pulling my hands into his. “A grand mistake if I have ever made one. Not the dancing, of course. The deportation…”

  “Yes.” I grin. “But I danced with you, and I got to cross it off my bucket list. I—”

  He shakes his head, interrupting. “Bucket? List?”

  I nod. “It’s a kind of list people keep of things they want to do before they kick the bucket. It came from a movie a while back.” I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve wanted to dance with you since I can remember. And I got my wish. And that was enough, Andrew. I never thought I’d see you again. Hell, I never wanted to see you again after you had me deported.”

  “As I said, one of my bigger mistakes in life.”

  “Yes.” I give him another smile. “But what I’m trying to get at is that you’ve always been more worried about what’s best for Montovia. Even when you had me kicked out on my ear, it was because you were trying to do what was best for your citizens.”

  He arches a brow. “When I gambled away the royal scepter, I clearly was not doing what was best for Montovia or her citizens.”

  “You went out for a night of fun, had a bit too much to drink, and lost your wingman to a model. It’s a wonder you didn’t lose more than the scepter.”

  The corners of his mouth curl into something that almost looks like a smile. “The details of that night are a bit fuzzy. I suppose I should be grateful I didn’t gamble away our contested borders. Not that they are mine to gamble.” His brows draw together. His lips part and he gasps. “Not that they are mine to gamble.”

  I nod. “I got it the first time, Andrew.”

  He shakes his head, his smile widening. “I…I just remembered something. I…There’s a law. Victoria, there’s a law.”

  My brow furrows. “I—”

  “You’re a genius.” He squeezes my fingers. “You, Victoria, are a genius.”

  “I would hardly say that. Especially since I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

  He shakes his head again. “It’s no matter now.” He lets out a long, almost exhilarated sigh. “But it is one less concern for me to bear at the moment. At least for this moment.”

  “Good.” My eyebrows draw together again under my confusion. “That’s good—”

  “There’s still the issue of you answering my question, however. Whatever the answer, Victoria, I promise you what I’ve said is true. I will love you regardless. Even if you say no.”

  I look into his eyes for a moment. The last thing I want to do is hurt him, but I don’t see any other way around this. “What I was trying to say before, Andrew—”

  “Yes, I know. I’ve had my head up my backside my entire life. I tried to explain to you that you’ve made me see the light, Victoria. I’m sure I’ll still have my moments, but you’ll be by my side to remind me that there’s more to life than duty.”

  “What is your first duty, Andrew?”

  He stares at me for a moment, his smile widening. “To you, of course.”

  “Not to me.” I shake my head. “Your first duty is to Montovia.”

  He heaves a sigh. “I don’t want to do this. I know what you’re doing. I know this is about my duty to provide Montovia with—what do you say in the tabloids? An heir and a spare?”

  “That’s exactly what it’s about, Andrew. Exactly. Even if…” I almost wince at the words I know I have to say. “Even if the people of Montovia can get past the fact that I’m not one of them… Even if they can somehow come to accept me as your wife…”

  He grins. “Are you accepting my proposal?”

  I have to stop myself from shaking my head. “What I’m saying is, what are they going to do when they find out? How…how am I supposed to deal with that? I know you want to protect me, but that issue isn’t anything you can protect me from. It just isn’t.”

  “And I know that. But I’m willing to do whatever it takes.”

  “But what happens when you have second thoughts? When the questions raised are sufficient to make you reconsider? What happens then?”

  “What questions, Victoria? This is Montovia. There will be no questions from the press unless I allow them.” He shrugs. “So I’ll never allow them. It’s very simple, really.”

  “You realize also that I have a huge problem with the lack of freedom of the press in this country, right? That someone with supreme authority can just wave their wand—”

  “Scepter.”

  I lift a brow. “Fine. Scepter. They can wave their scepter and have members of the press thrown in the dungeon or whatever.”

  “I assure you, Victoria. No member of the press has been locked away in more than a century. Well, not for very long, anyway.”

  I resist the urge to roll my eyes. “Fine. Even if you are able to control the press here, what happens when I go home? When I have to face the American media?”

  He shrugs again. “You don’t have to go home. I’ve already told you I can assist you with finding whatever type of employment you like here.”

  “So we’ll stay in Montovia forever?”

  “Perhaps.”

  I nod. “Even for our honeymoon?”

  A grin flashes across his lips for a moment. “We have some lovely vacation spots here.”

  “You have an answer for everythi
ng, don’t you?”

  He presses his lips into another smile. “When it comes to you, I’m afraid I do. Believe it or not, I have thought out this decision quite thoroughly. Regardless of whether or not you believe it.”

  “Well, I don’t believe it. Not that it seems to matter.”

  His grin widens. “Are we coming to the part where you say ‘yes’, yet?”

  I roll my eyes to the clouds overhead, giving my head a small shake. “I can’t believe I’m doing this. I can’t believe I’m sitting on the ground across from Prince Andrew after he just proposed to me.”

  “Would you like me to ask you again?”

  I drop my gaze back to his. “Yes. Yes, I think I would.”

  He lifts himself back onto a knee, pulling my fingers into his before he places a kiss on my hand. He smiles and gazes into my eyes. “Victoria Simpson, will you marry me?”

  My heart hammers in my chest, so loudly this time that I can barely hear my answer squeak from my lips. “Yes.”

  Andrew

  She said yes. She said yes.

  I pull her into my arms and kiss her. One of my hands weaves through her hair, the other slides around her waist, holding her as close to me as possible. We’re still on the ground, but I don’t care. She’s going to be my wife. My wife.

  She kisses me back just as enthusiastically, her lips moving against mine with a hungry joy. Now that her walls have come down, now that she’s embraced what we have between us, it seems as if the full force of her desire has come out.

  I pull back just enough to speak.

  “I love you,” I murmur to her. “I love you so much.”