Royal Mistake #6 Read online

  I start to respond, but she holds up a hand, stopping me.

  “Another part of me is…relieved,” she continues quietly. “So relieved I feel like I might be sick.” She looks up, her eyes meeting mine again. “I thought… There was a time I thought you and I would have been a good match. That we could have been happy. Even found love in each other. It was more than I’d ever allowed myself to hope.”

  I take a careful step toward her. “If circumstances had been different…I think we could have found some sort of happiness together. But love…”

  “I know,” she says quickly, nodding. “I’m still…processing everything, but I’m starting to see. You love her, this Victoria. I mean you truly love her. The sort of love that only comes around once in a lifetime, I suspect. And only for those who are very lucky.”

  I regard her soberly. “I love Victoria with all my heart.” With all my soul. With my very being.

  She nods. “I can see that, truly. And I’m beginning to understand that it’s better this way—that you never could have loved me the way I’d hoped. That’s why I feel so relieved. I allowed myself to believe in a fantasy for moment, but now I’m realizing that I’ve narrowly escaped what would have been my own personal hell. We never could have had that love. I was an idiot to believe it, even for a moment. But for now, I’m free. At least for a little while.”

  There’s a profound sadness in her eyes, something that goes beyond my terrible behavior toward her.

  “You can still find love,” I tell her gently.

  She gives a short, bitter laugh and waves her hand. “Not all of us are so lucky. No—I suspect my father will try and marry me off again fairly quickly. He’ll have our press secretary spin some story about how we actually rejected your suit in favor of a better offer.” One side of her mouth curls up in a wry half-smile. “I suppose I could always publicly reject him and turn everything on its head, but I don’t have the bargaining power you do.” Her smile grows sadder. “And I don’t have any better alternative. I’m not in love with someone else. If I’m being perfectly honest, I’m jealous—jealous that you’ve realized what would make you happy and that you were brave enough to go after it.”

  “Justine—”

  “I’ve accepted my lot in life,” she says. “I suspect I’ll end up marrying some bore of a nobleman and we’ll have the required number of children and be perfectly civil to each other for the rest of our lives. A lot of people in this world have it far worse.”

  I frown—mostly because, not even a couple of months ago, I had a similar view of my own future.

  “She loves you,” Justine goes on. “But she’s scared. And understandably so.” She steps closer to me, looking up at me. “Don’t let her slip through your fingers.”

  “Wait—was she here? Did you see her?”

  “She was here briefly. But she ran off.”

  “Which way? Where did she go?”

  She indicates a door on the far side of the courtyard. “She didn’t say where she was going. But if I were you, I’d hurry. I didn’t get the impression she was going to look for you.”

  Oh, God. She’s run again.

  I hurry across the courtyard. I must find her. Quickly.

  At the door I pause and glance back at Justine. She’s leaning over the fountain at the center of the courtyard, trailing her fingers in the water. She must sense me looking at her because she lifts her head.

  “Thank you,” I tell her. “For being so understanding. It’s more than I deserve.”

  That sad smile is back. “Thank you for giving me a few more days of freedom. It’s more than I could have hoped for at this point.”

  My heart is heavy as I leave the courtyard. It feels like the more I reach for happiness, the more people I hurt. I’ve left Princess Justine in an unenviable situation. The rights to Montovia’s royal scepter will probably never return to us now. And because of the stress I’ve caused, my own father lies unconscious in a hospital bed, barely clinging to life. I’ve destroyed everything.

  But Victoria is still my light. Still my beacon of hope at the end of a long, dark road. I have to find her.

  And I have a feeling I know exactly where she is heading.

  Victoria

  My chest seems to expand, the stress lifting from me somewhat as I walk a few blocks away from the hospital. Finding a seat on a bench near some shops, I pull out my phone and type in a quick text. It doesn’t take long for a response or for William to find his way to where I’m sitting.

  He grins as he approaches, plopping down on the bench next to me before he drapes his arm across the back of the bench. “Good call choosing a place out in the open like this. Of course, it won’t stop my brother from killing me when he finds me with you—especially since he’s publicly declared his affection now.”

  “I…” I pause, looking over at him. “Did you know he was going to do that?”

  He shakes his head. “I’m not sure even Andrew knew he was going to do that.” He rubs his jaw. “It probably wasn’t the right time. Or place, for that matter. And what he did to Justine…” He arches a brow. “Are you sure you want to be involved with someone like him?”

  I squeeze my eyes shut for a second before returning my gaze to his. “No. That’s why I asked you to meet me out here. I don’t know what to do. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I…” My heart is thrashing in my chest again, so loudly I can barely hear my own voice. It doesn’t help that I can barely croak out more than a whisper. “I’m not sure about anything anymore.”

  “You know, my mother and my sister are much better at handling these relationship situations than I am. Though I suppose they both are indisposed at the moment.” He sighs. “I never thought I would find myself giving out advice at any rate. Particularly regarding the state of Andrew’s relationships.” He chuckles. “It’s a bit strange, to say the least.”

  I blink at him a few times. Texting him was a mistake, obviously. Maybe I misunderstood his offer of friendship earlier. Maybe his behavior toward me really was only a ruse to upset Andrew.

  He sighs again, rubbing his jaw as he shakes his head to himself. “I’m sorry. I know I’m not being very helpful. What is it I can do for you, Victoria?”

  “I don’t know.” My voice is choked with an emotion I don’t quite recognize. “Part of me wants to get out of here again.” I let out a long breath. “I promised him I wouldn’t. But I can’t breathe in that hospital. I can’t seem to breathe in this country. And I know I’m being selfish—your father is lying in a bed and you should be there—”

  He rounds his shoulders in a small shrug. “Doing what? Fluffing his pillows?” He tilts his head. “Believe it or not, this conversation is probably the most helpful thing I could be doing right now.” He motions around him with his hand. “The future of this country might depend on it.”

  “But that’s just it. I can’t give this country a future. And Andrew knows that.”

  His brows draw together. “I’m not sure what you mean. What I am sure of is that my brother loves you. I’ve never seen him actually care about another person outside our family, so for him to profess his love…” He gives me a small smile. “I’m not sure you understand the gravity of the situation.”

  “I do, though. I understand it completely. But you…don’t.” I wince. “I…I can’t be with him. I mean…I can be with him, but I can’t give him…” I close my eyes again for a moment. Andrew obviously hasn’t shared my secret with the rest of his family—and once they know, everything will change. All this we’re-so-happy-Andrew’s-in-love stuff will end. And they’ll realize why it will never work.

  He pulls his arm from the bench behind me and covers my hand with his. “Whatever it is, Victoria…” He puffs out a breath. “I know this sounds cliché, but in this case it must be true…” He lowers his voice so that he’s almost muttering. “God, I can’t believe I’m saying this out loud.” He clears his throat. “Love will conquer whatever it is, Victoria.”


  I open my eyes to meet his gaze. “No, not this time.”

  He arches a brow. “Then you should tell me what it is.”

  I shake my head. “I can’t. If I tell you, I’m sure there’s some weird law in Montovia that will require you to tell your parents.” I stare at him for a moment. “But maybe that’s the answer. Maybe if it comes from them, Andrew will see how ridiculous he’s being by insisting that we can work it out. Maybe I’ve been going about this all wrong.”

  “Well, now you have to tell me.” He squeezes my hand. “And I swear, there are no laws in Montovia that require me to tell my parents anything. And under the circumstances…” His small smile falls away. “I’m sure it’s not as bad as you’re thinking it is, Victoria. And I’m happy to help you see it as the joke I’m sure it is… Let’s just say, everyone in the family could use some levity at the moment.”

  “There’s nothing funny about it, though. I…” I tear my gaze away from his. “I can’t have children. And Andrew knows.”

  He’s quiet for a moment, but I can’t bring myself to turn back to him.

  “Truly? You’re certain?”

  I stare down at the sidewalk at my feet, giving a slow nod.

  His voice is low, almost soothing. “That does complicate things.” He squeezes my hand again. “I didn’t mean to make a joke of it, Victoria. I thought perhaps you were going to tell me you were of King Maximilian’s lineage or something. That, I could have made light of.”

  We sit in silence for a moment before I sit upright, turning to him. “Ever since I’ve known Andrew—hell, even before I knew him—he’s talked about nothing but doing what’s best for Montovia.”

  He smiles. “That does sound like my brother.”

  I nod. “And being with me…it’s not what’s best for your country. I… He…he needs to fix things with Justine. She is the right person to be by his side. She can give him what he wants. Not me. I mean…it wasn’t even a day ago that he was suggesting I stay in the country as his mistress.” My voice chokes again. “I can’t do this.”

  William frowns, rubbing again at his jaw. “I really am not the best person to be giving advice on this matter, Victoria. You should really speak with my mother. And I would insist that you do so if there weren’t other matters at hand—”

  I cringe, interrupting him. “God, I know. I’m so sorry. I’m being so selfish—you should go back to the hospital.” I stand, smoothing down my skirt. “I’m…I’m so sorry.”

  He waves his hand as though there’s nothing wrong with me tearing a son away from his dying father’s bedside before he stands up, too. He pulls my hands into his. “If anything changes with my father’s condition, I’m but a text and a few blocks away. And there’s nothing I can do at the hospital now besides wring my hands in the hallway. They’ve barely let me in to see him at all.” He tilts his head. “And your concerns are not insignificant, Victoria. My brother chose a terrible time to decide he no longer wants to play his role of the perfect son, but perhaps it was all for the best. Perhaps there was good reason.”

  I pull a hand away from his and rub at my forehead. “I think you should go to Justine and talk to her. She needs a friend right now—what happened this morning hurt her pretty badly.”

  “I can’t even imagine.” He purses his lips and squeezes my hand. “At least my father didn’t insist on betrothing his children. I know he came pretty close with Andrew and that horrid Lady Clarissa, but he’s never done anything close to what King Maximilian has done to Princess Justine.” He nods. “I’ll try and find her. Not that I can do anything for her, but perhaps she just needs someone to talk to. Hopefully I’ll be able to avoid Lady Clarissa—I’m sure we’re both aware of what might happen should she find me in a conversation with another woman.” He rolls his eyes.

  I give him a weak smile. “Is there any way…?” I close my eyes for a moment before looking back up at him. “Never mind.”

  He shakes his head. “Anything for you, Victoria. Anything—just name it.”

  I frown, glancing around me as though someone might recognize me. My voice lowers, even though I know it’s ridiculous to think anyone would. “Is there any way you could not mention any of this to Andrew?”

  He cocks his head and grins. “Any of what?”

  I smile. “Thanks.”

  He squeezes my hand. “It’s my pleasure. Not that I’ve helped you with any of the decisions you need to make. But if I can give you one piece of advice, Victoria, it would be to not run away. To at least explain to Andrew that you are trying to do what’s best for Montovia. That’s the sort of reasoning my brother tends to understand.”

  I nod. “I know. But I’m in the way. And I have tried to explain that reasoning to him—and look how it turned out. He told the world he’s in love with me. He just left out the part about how I can never be the woman he needs me to be. Not in the long term.” I shake my head. “I wish I could explain it better, but I want to do what’s right for everyone. For Andrew, for Montovia, and for myself. And I just don’t see how staying here is the best thing for anyone.”

  He nods, gazing into my eyes for a long moment. “But you love him.”

  I frown. “I do.”

  “And he loves you. He’s said as much to the entire world this morning.” He smiles. “It would seem the only answer is for you to try to figure out how you can be with him. Not to try to find reasons why you can’t.”

  My stomach twists with some combination of hope and dread. I could stay—I could stand at Andrew’s side and face the world. I just don’t know if I can go through everything again. If I stay, the media will tear me apart, and it’s only a matter of time before my secrets will be revealed to everyone. And I’m not sure I have a reason strong enough to justify staying with Andrew. If I can’t give Montovia a future, what value am I to this country? Why should I even bother staying when I somehow know Andrew is going to come to his senses at any moment and cast me aside?

  “He loves you.” It’s almost as though William can read my thoughts through my eyes. “That’s all that really matters. You can worry about the rest of it later. And think of what fun it will be watching Leopold squirm when he learns he might actually have to rule someday. And if he doesn’t, his child will.” He grins. “Think of all the drama that can be stirred up when that comes to pass. Sophia is going to love it.”

  He drops my hand and holds out his arms.

  I smile, accepting the quick embrace.

  “I’m going to love finally having someone in the house to spar with. Have I mentioned how horrible my brothers are at fencing?” He quickly pecks the top of my head before he releases me.

  I’m not quite out of his arms when I hear Andrew’s voice. I suck in a sharp breath at the sound.

  “William?” Andrew’s voice is low, almost growling.

  William spins around and I edge myself to his side, barely avoiding Andrew’s fist as it connects with his brother’s jaw.

  Andrew

  William stumbles backward, grabbing his jaw.

  I should have known he’d move in on Victoria at the first opportunity. That he’d take advantage of her in her state of confusion.

  He straightens, rubbing his face. “Seriously? For a hug?”

  I’m about to tell him exactly where he can shove that hug, but before I can, Victoria grabs my arm.

  “What the hell are you doing?” she asks me.

  “He was taking advantage of you—”

  “He was talking to me. Because I asked him to.”

  I lower my arm, the fight leaving me. Her eyes are hard as she looks up at me.

  “You asked him to speak with you?” I say, my jaw tight. “Him?” I glance at my brother and then back at Victoria. “I’ve been running around looking for you. We need to talk. Not you and William.”

  “I’ve already heard what you have to say,” she says. “I…I needed some time to think.”

  “That didn’t look like thinking.”

  Her eye
s flash. “After everything we’ve been through, you still don’t trust me? Why am I not surprised?”

  “It’s not you I don’t trust,” I say, glancing back at William. “It’s my brother. But this isn’t about trust. This is about the fact that I laid myself emotionally bare before you—before the entire world—and your first reaction was to run to someone else.” I pull her hand off my arm. “I don’t know what else I have to do to convince you of how I feel, Victoria. I know that wasn’t perhaps the best time or place for such an announcement, but I think part of me was convinced that it was the only way I could finally get through to you. I love you. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I don’t care what anyone else thinks, or whether this is the best political decision, or whether we will be able to have any natural children. I’ve tried in every way I can imagine to make that clear to you…but maybe it’s time for me to stop trying. Maybe I should just accept that you’ve already made your decision about the matter.”

  William is looking markedly uncomfortable. “Maybe I should go—”

  “No. I’ll go,” I say. “You two can finish your conversation. Ms. Simpson has made her feelings about this entire affair quite clear. I was simply a fool for ignoring them.”

  I turn and stride away, not waiting for a response. My stomach twists and turns, but I see no other option at this point—the more I push, the further she runs. The harder I try to show her the truth, the more she pulls away.

  I’ve laid myself before her. I’ve offered her everything. I’ve proved once and for all that I’m willing to put her above all else in my life.

  I should go back into the hospital, I know. Go sit by my father’s bed and pretend I’m even half the heir he wants me to be. But I can’t. I need to clear my head. So I stride past the building and down the street beyond, toward the river.

  It’s the first time I’ve been in the city proper since the news about the royal scepter broke. I’m not sure whether or not my apology was enough. Perhaps people are more concerned about the state of my father. Or perhaps they’re simply amused that I’ve made a bloody fool of myself in front of the entire world. Either way, I don’t go without notice as I head down the street. People point and murmur amongst themselves as I pass, and a couple of people even call out to me.