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Royal Mistake #6 Page 8
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Looking quickly away, I walk over to the glass case on the far side of the room. Inside, on a bed of purple velvet, lay a number of pieces of fine jewelry. Some belonged to previous generations of my family, others were gifts from other nations, some were purchased at various auctions by my grandfather, who was a collector of antiques.
There are several rings in this collection, many of great value, but there’s only one I’m interested in right now. At the far end of the case is a white gold ring set with a single black pearl. I open the case and reach down inside, lifting the ring from the velvet and holding it up in front of my eyes. Even in the dim light, I can see a thousand colors in the depths of the pearl—a dark midnight blue, a flash of silver, even a ripple of green.
This should be on Victoria’s hand. Forever.
I’m only torturing myself by looking at it—I know that. But something drew me here. Even though negotiations with King Maximilian didn’t go as planned, I can’t give up hope. I must find a way to be with her and to protect the people of Montovia.
I should return the ring to its case, but I can’t bear to. Instead, I slip it into my pocket. I can’t give it to Victoria yet—but I will. I’ll find a way.
Now, though, I just want to see her.
I leave the treasury, trying to decide where she might have gone since leaving the receiving chamber. In my mind, there’s only one answer—the gardener’s cottage.
I head down the corridor, determined to get to her as soon as possible. I only make it a short way, though, before I turn a corner and find William striding toward me.
“There you are,” he says. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere.”
“You should have called me,” I say, tapping my pocket for my mobile phone. It’s only then that I realize it isn’t on me—I must have left it in my chambers when I was changing to receive King Maximilian. “Is Father—”
“He’s out of surgery,” William says quickly. “And stable. The surgeon said it went as well as could be hoped.”
Relief rushes through me. “Thank God.”
William nods, looking as relieved as I feel. “Mother is still with him. She sent me back here to find you. And to check on you. King Maximilian—”
“Has currently retired to his guest chamber.”
“Is he being his normal pleasant self?”
“Even more pleasant than usual.”
“And Reginald?”
“I’m told he retired early, and that he requested not to be disturbed before noon tomorrow. This is probably some sort of power play, but I must admit I’m grateful I don’t have to deal with him just yet.”
“Bastard.” William shakes his head. “Whatever his issues with you, he and his father should have waited until after Father’s health improved before inviting themselves here. I saw when I came in that they brought half of their staff with them. They seem to have taken over the guest wing.” He gives a dismissive wave of his hand. “Princess Justine is nice enough, but thank God you got out of marrying her. Can you imagine having those people as in-laws?”
My expression must give my thoughts away, because William’s eyes widen.
“What?” he asks. “What happened?”
“Victoria and I received King Maximilian, and he threatened us with war. In response, Victoria called off our engagement.”
William’s eyes get even wider. “What?”
“We are not going to war,” I say firmly. “And Victoria will be my wife, one way or another. I don’t know how, but I refuse to bend to King Maximilian’s outrageous demands.” At this point, I want nothing more than to give him the damned scepter and be done with this.
“Fuck,” William says. “I’d rather spend more time with Lady Clarissa than a minute alone with Maximilian.” He shakes his head. “Clarissa’s been quiet lately. At first I just thought she was being understanding because Father’s in the hospital, but now I’m starting to wonder if we should be worried. I don’t trust that woman—especially now that she feels personally slighted by our family. But we have bigger things to worry about than her. What the fuck are we going to do about Maximilian’s threats?”
“I’ll figure that out,” I say. “In the meantime, please don’t say anything to our mother. I don’t want to upset her right now.”
“Understood,” William says with a nod.
“I’m going to find Victoria,” I say. “But I’ll let you know if there are any updates on the situation.”
“Please do,” he says as I start to head down the corridor. “And Andrew?”
I pause and look back over my shoulder. “Yes?”
“No one fucks with Montovia,” he says. “If you need any help—”
“I know,” I say. “And you’re right—no one fucks with Montovia.”
Victoria
I’m out of place in the palace. It’s not like the little gardener’s cottage is my home or anything, but it seems a lot more comfortable than trying to find any comfort in the stuffy palace.
The truth is, I’m out of place in this country. I’ve probably worn a path on the floor of the cottage as I paced this afternoon to come up with that brilliant conclusion.
Andrew will be here soon. If I’m sure of anything, it’s that he’ll know where to find me once his meeting is over.
And then what? I’ve gone over every possible response he’ll have to me trying to do what was right for his country. He’ll argue with me—he’ll tell me we don’t have to give up. That we’ll figure out a way to work this out.
But the only outcome for that choice is war.
He might have come to his senses during the meeting with that asshole, King Max. Maybe he’ll come here and tell me I was right. That the only way through this is for us to part ways.
Not going to happen.
The only outcome I can come up with where this works out for the two of us—the only thing I can hope for—is that somehow, some way, Andrew and King Max have come up with some sort of compromise.
But that seems even less likely than Andrew changing his mind about our engagement.
I pace for what seems like forever before the door finally opens. Andrew doesn’t even knock—he walks in and sits down in the living room of the small house without saying a word, placing his head in his hands.
I turn to him with a frown. “I take it the meeting didn’t go the way you hoped?”
He shakes his head, not lifting it from his palms. “It hasn’t concluded. We’ve reached no agreement. No compromise. No understanding.”
“It doesn’t seem like King Maximilian has any of those words in his vocabulary. You can’t really be surprised.”
“I’m not. That is the problem.” He finally lifts his head from his hands, turning his gaze to mine. “You shouldn’t have spoken during the meeting. If the topic of a marriage to Justine hadn’t come up—”
“Then he would have brought it up. You can’t really believe that I was the one who gave him that idea, can you? He’d been talking about how you had humiliated her the entire time I was in there. It was only a matter of time before he made the offer to you.”
“I still believe I can come up with a solution that will be fair for us all. And that includes you, Victoria.” He pats the seat next to him, inviting me to sit.
But I stay where I am. “I wish you would just own this, Andrew. It isn’t as though we didn’t both see it coming. There’s no way out. There’s nothing else for us to do.”
“You could stay in Montovia. Just as we had discussed before. I’ll make sure you have a fine home in the city. A job of your choosing. And I will see you as often as I am able. It will be difficult, yes, but we can make it work—”
“Andrew.” My voice is a little sharper than I had intended. “I think I’ve already told you—in this very cottage, no less—that I will not be your mistress. I don’t care if your wife approves or even encourages it.” I let out a long breath. “You know, I spent the afternoon thinking I wasn’t good enough for you. But the tru
th is, I’m too good for this. I deserve more.”
His head drops into his hands again.
I take a few steps closer to him. “Look, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about this. I know you have, too. I know we would both love for this to work out, but I think we both need to admit that sometimes…things just don’t. Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, it just isn’t meant to be. What you have going on in your life is so much bigger than the two of us. There’s just no way—”
“There is always a way, Victoria.” He lifts his gaze to mine again. “Always.”
I shake my head. “Not this time. This time, you have to suck it up and do what you were born to do. You have to do what you’ve been telling me since I met you is your one and true responsibility. You have to do what’s right for Montovia. And in this case, the only thing you can do to fix this is to marry Justine.”
“I refuse to accept that, as I’ve already stated on too many occasions for me to count. And even if I did accept it, it’s not as though she would have me now. It’s not as though I can undo the damage I’ve already caused her.”
I nod. “You’ll have to make it up to her. And you’ll have to do it on a grand scale—something huge and probably on a national stage. She still might not forgive you, Andrew. She might never forgive you. But she will marry you. She’s just like you—she’ll do what’s right for her country.”
“Will you stay, then? Will you stay and assist me?” The hopeful look in his eyes makes the knife in my heart twist on itself.
“Please don’t ask me to do that, Andrew. I…I don’t want to have to refuse you. And I can’t imagine being a part of it—not like this.”
“I…I know.” His frown deepens and he gives his head another shake. “I’m a desperate man, Victoria. I…I can’t let you go. Not yet.”
“Andrew.” My eyes squeeze shut for a moment before I look back over at him. “We need to end this. I know it hurts—my pain is at least as bad as yours. I wish you would see that. I wish you could feel how much it’s killing me right now—I can only imagine it’s at least as bad for you. But I can’t keep doing this to myself.”
“I need…” He rakes a hand through his hair. His eyes are wild now, darting around the room, almost in desperation. “I need one more night with you. Agree to that, at the very least.”
“No.” I shake my head. “Believe me, Andrew, I would love nothing more than for you to hold me one last time. To be with you one last time—”
“Then we should be together one more time, Victoria. We owe it to ourselves to have one last night together.”
“To what end, though? It’s going to hurt just as much if I leave now as it will if I leave in the morning. And honestly, it’s probably going to hurt me more. I can’t do that to myself, Andrew. I can’t keep doing any of this to myself—especially these one last time things. I’m worth more.”
He nods before he finally stands up, fishing around in his pants pocket. “It’s true. You are worth more. You’re worth the world to me, Victoria. More than the world. And I would give up everything to be with you. Everything I have, everything I am…” He pulls his clasped hand out of his pocket. It’s pretty obvious he’s holding something in his palm as his hand extends in front of him. “I love you. More than words can express. But I think this will help to show you exactly how I feel.”
He walks toward me, pulling my hand into his before he slips the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen over my finger.
My breath hitches in my chest and all I can do is shake my head for a few moments as I stare down at the thing. The stone—I think it’s a pearl—changes color with even the slightest movement and it’s difficult to look away from it.
“It was my great-grandmother’s. It… I knew it was for you. The moment you accepted my proposal this morning, I could think of no other ring I wanted you to wear. No other symbol of my undying love for you—”
I stare at the ring, almost mesmerized by its beauty. But after a few moments, I’m able to snap myself out of my trance, lifting my gaze to his as I pull my hand. I slide the ring off my finger and place it back in his hand, closing his fingers around it. “I can’t, Andrew.”
“But you can. You must.” His breaths are shallow, almost ragged. “Even…even if we don’t marry, I want you to have it. I want you to wear it always as a symbol of my love for you.”
“No.” I shake my head again as I take a few steps back, pulling away from him. “I can’t, Andrew. And it isn’t fair for you to ask me. You really… You really want me to wear your ring…forever? So that I can’t be with anyone else, is that it?”
“Victoria, how can you even think of being with someone else? We’ve just been engaged. I realize this is complicated and that things are not going the way we expected. But I’m not going to suddenly forget you, just because I’ve been forced into a corner. I don’t understand how you—”
“The double standard. That’s what this is—and you are completely blind to it. Still. After all this time. You will be with Justine. You will have babies with her. You will be sharing a bed with her for the rest of your life. But you want me to wait? For what? When exactly will it be my turn, Andrew? After your first child is born? Your second? You think you want this thing with me now, but what happens when…?” My voice cracks as tears fill my eyes.
Andrew’s eyes are shining, too, but I doubt he would ever admit they are filled with tears of his own. “What happens when what, Victoria?”
A single tear slides down my cheek and I swipe at it with the back of my wrist. “What happens when you realize you love her?”
Andrew
I gape at her. I still can’t believe she doesn’t understand.
“I will never love her,” I say. “I will never love anyone but you. Never. If you are gone from my life, it will be as if a piece of my soul is missing. I may continue to exist, but I’ll never be fully alive again. You are it for me, Victoria. There will never be another.” I close the distance between us again and raise my hand to her face. “I didn’t give you this ring because I wanted to claim you as mine for the rest of your life. I gave it to you because I never want you to forget what you mean to me—what you will continue to mean to me for as long as there is breath in my body. I certainly will never forget it.” I blink, and I realize my eyes are wet—am I actually crying?
Her lips fall open, and she looks as if she wants to speak, but she can’t seem to make any words come out.
“It’s a cruel universe,” I say, “that makes two people so perfect for each other and yet does everything in its power to tear them apart.” I take her hand again and place the ring in her palm. “You don’t have to wear it, but please keep it. I’m not ready to give up hope yet, Victoria. I am determined to find a way for us to be together. This ring is a symbol of that hope.” I close her fingers around it.
For a long time, she says nothing. I can see the emotion shimmering in her eyes—emotion I know mirrors my own. After a moment, she looks down at her hand, opening her fingers to reveal the ring.
I hold my breath. Part of me fears that she’s going to refuse it once again, but instead, she slowly lifts it from her palm and then slides it down her ring finger.
“I can’t wear this in public, you know,” she says. “People would notice.” She spreads her fingers, looking down at the ring. It’s a perfect fit, and it seems to glimmer on her finger. Almost as if she was born to wear it. “I could wear it on a necklace, though.” She blinks a few times and looks up at me again. “I don’t want to give up hope either, Andrew. But I can’t… I have to be practical. I need to protect…” Her eyes close and she swallows. “If I allow myself to believe it’s possible, to hold on to that hope only to have it torn away again… It will break me.”
“I don’t think I could survive without that hope,” I say, so softly that I can hardly hear the words myself.
Her eyes flutter open again. “I want to hope, I just…” She reaches up and touches my cheek, and a
tremor moves through me. “I’ve changed my mind. I want one more night.”
My heart stutters in my chest. Once she gives me permission, I’m not sure I’ll be able to stop. “Are you certain?”
“Yes,” she says breathlessly. “Yes.” She tightens her fingers and pulls my face down to hers.
My body seems to be aware that this might be the last time we experience each other like this, because the sensations that rush through me at the first touch of our lips nearly paralyze me. Heat pulses through me, sending hot flames of desire through every part of me, but beneath that is something dark and deep and desperate—an ache from the very core of my being.
I grab her to me, yanking her against my chest as I deepen the kiss. Together, we stumble into the bedroom, toward the bed. We tumble down onto the sheets.
This is more than just a physical need, or even an emotional one—my soul cries out for hers. She is everything to me. The air I breathe. The blood moving through my body. I could survive on her and her alone.
I could take her hard and fast—the urgency burns through me. But if this is possibly our last time together, I want to savor every moment. I want to commit every bit of her to memory.
I prop myself up above her. “I love you.” My head dips and my lips brush against hers. “I love your mouth. And your chin”—I kiss her chin—“and your cheeks.” My lips touch either side of her face.
Her breath comes out in a soft shudder, and her fingers dig into my back.
“I love your ears,” I continue. “And your eyes.” I kiss each piece of her one by one, lingering on her eyelids. “And I love your hair.” I bury my face in the strands, breathing in that autumn-and-honey scent of her, committing it to my memory.
We’re still clothed, and we both seem to realize it at the same time. Slowly, I sit up, and then Victoria does too. We don’t say a word to each other, but we both move in sync, knowing exactly what to do. I’m still in the formal suit I wore to receive King Maximilian, which is a little more complicated than my normal clothing, but we manage to get it off together and throw it all aside. Her clothes go next, joining the pile on the floor. When there is nothing between us anymore, I slowly lower her back down onto the pillows. Her hair falls around her head like a dark halo.