Royal Mistake #6 Page 19

  It’s too risky for me to attend. Reginald will almost certainly be there, and he’ll almost certainly be watching, making sure I’m holding up my end of the bargain.

  It’s the right thing to do for this country.

  I have to remind myself of it constantly. It would be so easy—too easy—to go running back to Andrew and have him take me in his arms. But it would undo all the good that’s come from my decision. And for as much as it is tearing me apart from the inside, there’s a small part of me that knows I’ll be okay because I did what I did for the right reasons.

  It has to be how Andrew justified his whole pageant thing. How he’s justified everything stupid he’s done.

  I’m about to bounce off the walls of my room when there’s finally a knock on my door. Sophia is there with my gown in her hand.

  She walks through the doorway, edging around me before I can extend her an invitation. I peek out into the hallway before I close the door—there’s a part of me that hopes she brought Andrew with her, but a bigger part of me knows she would never risk it.

  Sophia frowns. “He’s not here, if that’s what you’re looking for.”

  I nod. “I know. I just…”

  She clasps my forearm for a moment before releasing me. “He’ll be there tonight, though. It’s why you must come—”

  “It’s why I must not come. I mean…I’ll go. I’ll watch. But I’m not going to let myself get caught up in the party. I’ll be gone before everyone removes their masks at midnight.”

  She frowns and searches my eyes. “Is that really what you want?”

  “Of course it isn’t what I want. But it’s the only option. Reginald and his father already announced they were going to turn over the rights to your valley. You don’t really think they did that out of the kindness of their hearts, do you?”

  She pauses for a moment. “No. I don’t think anything of the sort. But I do know William has been working on another angle—”

  “No more angles.” I shake my head. “No more tricks. No more games. No more drama. I’m done with it. I did what I needed to do. I did what was best to keep the peace between your two countries. And I’m sorry I ever got caught up in it. I should have just stayed in Oregon—I should have never let Andrew talk me into coming back here.”

  Sophia looks like she might cry. “I know you don’t mean that, Victoria. You’re in love with my brother. And he’s very much in love with you. I…I don’t know very much about love. But I know it when I see it. I see it with my parents. I see it with Leopold and Elle. And I see it with you…with you and Andrew.”

  I can only shake my head. “And while that might be true, sometimes things just aren’t meant to be.”

  “Perhaps not.” She stands taller, probably trying to hide the emotion I can still see in her eyes. “I’ve brought your dress.” She nods toward the garment bag draped over her arm.

  “As long as the mask covers my face and no one can recognize me, I don’t think the dress matters—”

  I’m interrupted by the crestfallen look on her face, and I try to cover my words as quickly as I can. “What I mean is, I’m sure it’s a beautiful gown. The one you brought me before was so lovely.”

  “Yes…” She’s trying to cover the pain in her voice, and my stomach twists with guilt as I realize how I’ve insulted her. “I’ve had to make a few adjustments to this one. Your costumes were meant to match.” Her voice falls to barely above a whisper. “Yours and Andrew’s.”

  I nod and take the garment bag from her. “I’m sure it’s beautiful, Sophia. And I do appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” I reach out and squeeze her forearm. “Everything. And I mean that.”

  She nods.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to insult you. I…I’m just—”

  “You’re heartbroken.” She looks at me for a long moment. “You should know, though, Victoria… We all are. For both you and my brother.”

  I can’t really say anything to that. I suppose she’s right.

  She motions to the door. “I should return to the palace. A carriage will be waiting for you in an hour. I…” She frowns again. “I’ll try to find you.”

  I want to tell her not to bother, but I don’t. I nod instead. “Okay.”

  She nods in return. “Please, Victoria, promise you’ll go. I can’t promise anything is going to happen… I can’t promise a fairy tale. But…” Her shoulders fall. “Please promise you’ll go.”

  I look at her for a long moment. I can’t deny I’ve thought about skipping the entire thing to find my way to the train station instead. But I did promise her I’d wear her gown. And I would like to see Andrew one last time, even if I can’t speak to him. Even if I can’t dance with him or hold him or have him hold me. I need to see him one last time, if only for the closure it will bring me.

  So I nod at her again. “Okay, Sophia. I promise.”

  And I might be a monster for having done what I’ve done to Andrew. But I’m at least an honest monster.

  Andrew

  I stare down at the mask in my hands. It took me nearly an hour to get dressed for the masquerade ball, and I still haven’t convinced myself to go. I don’t have the energy or the will for anything—I haven’t eaten since Victoria disappeared last night. I hardly slept. I know that with my father incapacitated it’s up to me to work out the official terms regarding the land rights of the Amhurst Valley with Maximilian, but I can hardly bring myself to do that, even though it is the one bright lining of this entire ordeal.

  The cost was too damn high.

  The people expect me at the masquerade tonight. After everything that’s happened—with my father, with Reginald, with the scepter—they need me there. Now, more than ever, I need to show them strength. And my entire family knows it. Sophia dropped by twice this afternoon to badger me and squeeze out a promise that I would attend.

  My sister knows more than she’s telling me. William, too—my brother has been mysteriously absent around the palace today. He’s up to something, but I can’t find the energy to investigate.

  I can’t even find the energy to put on this mask.

  I cross over to the window and look out at the city. The sun has just set, and the city is more alive than ever—the glow of lanterns makes the buildings look like they are washed in gold, and I can even see the faint flickering of the giant bonfire they’ve lit in the Main Square. If I opened the window, I’d no doubt hear the sounds of revelry, but the thought of such cheerfulness only makes my stomach curdle.

  To think—this used to be one of my favorite days of the year. For one night, I was just another citizen of Montovia. I could lose myself in the celebration, be free of all responsibility for a few hours.

  From now on, though, I’ll only remember it as my first night after losing Victoria.

  There’s a knock on the door behind me.

  “Andrew!” comes my sister’s voice. “Are you ready? We’re going to be late.”

  I sigh. There’s no point in staying, even though I feel as if I’ve been dragged behind a carriage through the mountains. I won’t feel any better staying here in my room. At least by going I can make my sister happy—and, I suppose, the people of Montovia. I cannot forget them now. At the very least, their lives will be better now for everything that has happened these past few days. It’s a small consolation, but it’s all I have.

  I place the mask over my eyes. Let’s get this over with.

  Sophia is tapping her foot against the floor when I finally open the door. She gives me a quick once-over, then nods.

  “Let’s go,” she says, grabbing my hand. “The car has been waiting twenty minutes already.”

  I don’t respond, but that doesn’t seem to bother her. It’s enough that I’m coming at all, I suspect.

  When we reach the car, William is already there. I expect him to crack a joke at my expense, but instead, he’s silent. In fact, he looks rather serious behind his mask. That’s unusual for him, especially on a night like
this.

  “Leo and Elle have already gone down to the city,” Sophia says. “So we’re all here.”

  As the car begins to move, I study William. I understand why I feel terrible, but why should he look so down? Yesterday he, like Sophia, seemed determined to be infuriatingly optimistic about what is an objectively terrible situation. Now, though, he looks worried. Has something happened?

  “What is it?” I ask him.

  He was clearly deep in thought—it takes him a moment to register that I’ve spoken to him. He shrugs and gives a little shake of his head.

  “Nothing,” he tells me. “I’m just tired.”

  I don’t believe that for a minute. “You’re lying.”

  William shakes his head again. “And you’re not in your right mind right now. Trust me—everything’s fine.”

  Anger starts to build in my chest—I don’t have the patience for these sorts of games right now. But when I open my mouth to argue, Sophia places a hand on my arm.

  “Let’s not fight tonight,” she says. “Please.”

  One look at my little sister and I feel the fight seep out of me. I don’t want to fight—but I want to know what’s on William’s mind—he’s definitely up to something, and he wants to hide it from me. That’s not a good sign.

  But I bite my tongue the rest of the way to the city. And when we get out of the car, William is gone before I have the chance to speak with him again. He’s lost in the crowd now.

  I glance at my watch—it’s five minutes until seven o’clock. We arrived here just in time—at the stroke of seven, the procession begins. The citizens of Montovia will all proceed up the road to the palace, where all are welcome in our master ballroom for the masquerade ball. I can already hear the drums and horns starting—members of the Royal Orchestra lead the procession with a handful of standard bearers and a squad of the Royal Guard.

  “Come on,” Sophia says, grabbing my hand and pulling me into the crowd. Part of the tradition is for the members of the royal family to be lost among the rest of the crowd. We proceed into the ballroom with everyone else.

  As we move through the crowded street, I find myself subconsciously scanning the crowd for Victoria. I know she won’t be here, but I can’t help it—I suppose I just like to torture myself.

  The drums and horns get louder, taking their places at the front of the crowd. After a moment, they transition into the Montovian national anthem, and around me, the crowd begins to sing along.

  I mumble along, but my eyes are still searching the crowd. And suddenly, my heart stops. There—behind that lamppost!

  I shove my way through the crowd, running toward her. Victoria.

  But when I get to the spot where I saw her, it’s not Victoria I see. In fact, the brunette woman I saw looks nothing like her.

  You’re going mad, I think, stumbling back through the crowd. Seeing her everywhere.

  I try to make my way back to Sophia, but the procession has started moving. The musicians have transitioned into another song now, a lively traditional tune that most of our citizens know. People are dancing and singing around me, moving slowly up the street, carrying me along with them.

  I keep looking for Sophia, but instead, my heart stills again.

  I could have sworn…

  I know it’s probably only my imagination again, but the woman I just saw moved exactly like Victoria. Her hair was hidden, but the way she held herself… It could have been her. It has to be her.

  Shoving my way through the dancing crowd, I try to reach the woman I saw. But she’s disappeared, lost among the other revelers.

  You really are going crazy…

  The crowd moves slowly but steadily up the hill, heading toward the palace. I have no choice but to go along with them. But now a hope has been lit in my chest. If I can just find her, speak to her for a moment… Just a moment is all I want.

  But I don’t spot her again. I’m beginning to think she really was just a figment of my imagination. I should have known better—Victoria left Montovia last night. She’s probably already back in the United States. And I have a feeling she’s going to make it a lot harder to find her this time.

  The crowd is singing another song now, and someone nudges me when they realize I’m not singing along. I do my best to follow along, even though I don’t feel like singing at all.

  We’ve finally reached the palace. The doors to the Master Ballroom have been thrown open, welcoming the citizens of Montovia, and everyone presses inside. The rest of the Royal Orchestra is already inside, playing a waltz. The lawn outside is lit with twinkling lanterns—not everyone will fit inside, and on a beautiful night like this, many people prefer to stay outside under the stars.

  I’ve just made it inside the doors when I see it again—another tease of my imagination, another glimpse of a woman who might be Victoria. And even though I know I’m just torturing myself, I can’t help it—I move toward her.

  People are dancing in the center of the room, swirling around in time to the waltz. I only make it about twenty paces before someone grabs my arm, tugging me toward the other dancers. Before I can protest, I find a woman in my arms. She pulls me into position, and I have no choice but to dance.

  The woman who grabbed me isn’t Victoria. But as we twirl about the room, I realize that dancing gives me an easy way to scan the surrounding crowd on all sides.

  There—in that dark dress!

  But whoever I saw is gone half a second later, lost behind another twirling skirt.

  Stop looking for her, I tell myself. You know she isn’t here.

  And as I’m passed off to another partner—who, like the first, isn’t the woman I want to see—I chide myself for being such a lovesick fool.

  Victoria

  I studied the traditional dances of Montovia before I came for the state dinner with Elle—it seems like forever ago now. I was afraid the one I’m dancing now was going to be my least favorite, and unfortunately, it turns out I was right.

  Another man takes me in his arms and spins me around so quickly I feel like I might puke. I still haven’t quite got the timing down for this dance—as soon as I think I have it, I get spun around again and passed off to another male partner.

  After about the thirtieth spin, I’ve had enough. The song should have been over long before now, and between not wanting to be back at the palace and the dizziness from so much spinning, I’m pretty sure I’m going to throw up on the shoes of whichever unlucky soul is the next to take me in his arms.

  As soon as I’m passed off again, I smile through my mask at the man in front of me before he can take me in his arms and spin me around again. “I’m sorry. I think I’ve had enough for the evening.”

  “Victoria?”

  My heart skips a few beats when I recognize Andrew’s voice. His mask is so much more intricate than the one from the other night—this mask covers his entire face, much as my own does—and the ornate detailing hides his features. It’s no wonder the royal family can dance among the citizens without fear of being recognized. I certainly didn’t recognize him, and I doubt he would have recognized me if I hadn’t opened my big mouth.

  “Andrew, I…” I glance over my shoulder, sure someone will see me talking to him. If Reginald gets so much as a hint that I’m even speaking with Andrew, I have no doubt our deal will be called off. Even if the countries have announced the resolution over the Amhurst Valley in the media, I’m sure they’ll find some reason to go back on their word if I go back on mine. I hate that it’s come to this, but I have little choice. I can’t have innocent people losing their lives in some meaningless war, all because I was too selfish not to follow through on my promise.

  “Victoria, we should go somewhere more private—”

  Andrew is interrupted by the next beat in the song signaling the passing off of the partners again. He hasn’t so much as touched me, though, so when the person next to him passes his partner, she nearly knocks me over as she spins into me.

 
It’s just as well. I have to get out of here.

  Andrew does some sort of move with the woman now in front of him, passing her to the man on his left who should have me in his arms, but I’m still staggering from the near face plant from a few seconds ago. Before I know what’s happening, Andrew takes me by the elbow and drags me through the crowded ballroom. We narrowly miss crashing into couple after couple, particularly when the beat to pass the partner chimes every twenty seconds or so.

  It takes us forever to get out of the ballroom—and far enough away from the hallway crowded with citizens hoping to get into the ballroom—so that we have the privacy to talk.

  I throw a glance over my shoulder, sure Reginald is lurking around the corner. “Andrew, we really can’t—”

  “Nonsense.” He tugs on my elbow and swings open a door behind him, pulling me into a small parlor. As soon as the door slams closed, he drops my arm and lifts his mask. “Victoria, I—”

  “We can’t do this, Andrew. Not here. Not now.” I pull off my own mask before glancing over my shoulder again, though there’s nothing to see. There’s definitely no way anyone could hide in this room—there are only a few chairs and a small couch in front of a fireplace. I can’t even imagine what they use this room for—it doesn’t seem to really serve a purpose, other than filling up one of the many rooms in the enormous palace.

  “We will do this here. And now.” His gaze narrows. “I don’t understand what happened, Victoria. One moment we were blissfully in love, engaged to be married, and the next—”

  “What happened was the duel, Andrew. Reginald made me an offer I couldn’t refuse. One I’m sure you would have wanted me to take if you’d heard it—if you’d had a say.”

  “But I didn’t have a say.” He almost growls the words. “I didn’t have a say at all. And I can assure you, I never would have condoned anything Reginald would have offered, even if it meant—”